Crystal Bowersox gets to be promoted right off the bat because of her hospital issue. But she's going first so I gues it's not too blatant.
*CRYSTAL BOWERSOX
Crystal shows us pictures of her in a very rebel-esque leather jacket in a family photo. I do not dig the dreds. People with dreds are stinky and I don't like stinky. Her voice is good but I take issue with her diction, because about a third of the time, I'm not really sure what words she is singing. It's vocally sound, and I like that she's so raw and doesn't worry about trying to "create" stage presence. But I wish I understood more of what she's saying. I like her attitude a lot too.
*HAELEY VAUGHN
Oh my good lawd Miley Cyrus. Please don't. Pleathe don't thing that thong! It'th tho thilly! Okay. Enough lisp jokes. But seriously, I can't take her seriously while she's singing Miley Cyrus. And she looks like she's stinky. I don't know what it is about her, but she looks stinky too. No wonder Vote For the Worst is endorsing her. I love Simon's snark towards her - I might want her to stay because it's fun to watch Simon be mean. Even though she looks like an alien.
*LACEY BROWN
Her eyes scare me so I'm just going to not look at the TV. And again with the whining and squeaking and having no substance to one's voice. Except now she's butchering "Kiss Me" like John Park killed "Gravity." Is she even singing? And towards the end when she tries to yell and starts to sound like she's gargling. Gosh, woman.
*KATIE STEVENS
Katie controls the weather, and makes it snow in goold old Connecticut. "Put Your Records On" is a cute song, anyway, and her shoes match her ensemble nicely. Thanks to the cameraman for zooming in on them. Her stage presence isn't particularly commanding, and she's not particularly connected to the song. But better than the last two we've heard.
*DIDI BENAMI
She has such great hair. And such a pointy noise. And she's wearing her belt so high that it's affecting her posture, which is not good for singing. I'm not too sure about "Lean on Me," I personally liked her last week so I'm not sure how well I'll react to change. At least she gave it a more folksy vibe, and has great legs. This performance strikes me as natural at least.
*MICHELLE DELAMOR
When I look at her face, she makes me wonder if she's a drag queen. If she is, should she have performed yesterday? And singing Creed, hm. I do like that she works with kids, though, all jokes aside. Anyway, fail.
*LILLY SCOTT
This girl freaks me out. She looks like a one of the joke auditions. She scares me. I would like her to leave now. That is all. Why do the judges like it? I hated it!
*KATELYN EPPERLY
I loooove "The Scientist" a lot - it's one of my favorite songs. I wish she would speed up the beginning up a little, but I like the way she sounds, except for the strange whiny noise when she slides into high notes.
*PAIGE MILES
She likes to color, with OCD. She needs to outline with marker. And - I think I'm the same way. And I really like "Walk Away" because it's such a 'tudey song! She made the notes a lot more staccato, lots of different phrasing. Simon, meanwhile, is staring at something under the table. Did he spell his Coca-Cola (insert blatant advertisement) here. Paige's high note on "Hey, hey, just walk away" was sloppy. So is "Just Leave." I'm sorry, I just really like the original.
*SIOBHAN MAGNUS
Thank you for explaining to me how to give yourself a mohawk. But she's funny - she sort of talks like a stoner, and I wouldn't be surprised. Her high notes were a little shrill in the first part, but I actually really started liking her when she got to the really big notes. And she's so entertaining! And Ellen thinks she's like a Snuggie.
So, I'm probably going to be wrong again, but my picks to leave are going to be Haeley and Lacey.
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