And here we are in Louisville. Loo-uh-vull. Not Loo-EE-vill. It pains me to admit that I think this is going to be more interesting than the San Francisco auditions, but hey. What can you do?
Here's our first contestant, Tiffany Shedd who looks like a drag queen and sounds like Paris Hilton with allergies and a retainer. And OUCH. Yes. Go to college. "Imagine twenty two horses and a donkey." Why are they letting her sing again on camera? "I don't even care, they only want nerds and freaks on this show. I'm only speaking the truth!"
Here's Joanna Pacitti. THE Joanna Pacitti, or do they just share a name? Like, the one who sings the song from Legally Blonde while Elle is buying the laptop - IT IS *THE* JOANNA PACITTI!!! She still seems very humble, I like her. She sort of has an unfair edge, she has experience - but this is a bigger break than one song that I've ever heard from her.
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Cue the guy we have already been told many times is creepy, who is related to the doctor who fixed John Wilkes Booth's leg and the source of the expression, 'Your name is mud.' Mark Mudd seems like a Billy Ray Cyrus, on helium, halfway to asphyxiation. I like how he tries staring down Simon. "Be careful in whatever you do --" O_O
"That's just not a normal thing to say."
And here is a cute guy - oh, he has a name. Brent Keith Smith. He is a little generic, and his motions are awkward, but it's sort of in a cute way. But those arms, heh. Sorry, focusing back on the performance.
Kara and Paula are so cute! Haha - women under the table!
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Obianuju sounds like Rihanna's pet sheep. Patrick Warner seems to have taken a wrong turn on the way to the audition to 'The Biggest Loser'
Dueling Piano Guy Matt Giraud sounds like he's just come from running a few miles. He's NOT Gavin Degraw and I don't like him a lot - he doesn't sound like Elliott at ALL, Simon's smoking something. But they see something in him, so I suppose he might still be abe to prove himself. He's cute, I'll give him that.
Where are all these cute boys coming from?
Ah. And here's supernerd! He's been studying how people sing, and studying Chinese - it's so AWKWARD. Ross Plavsic...the name fits. The voice is going to haunt my dreams. Forever.
Oh hell naw! Sipping through Paula's straw AND drinking all her water?
We got TEN from Louisville on the first say, and from this closing montage, there are plenty of chesty girls and good looking boys. Wonderful.
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Alexis Grace has a good voice, but she a bit too screamy, and she's awkward looking. She makes me think of Pippi Longstocking.
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Ugly, boring people. Boring people montage.
Oh! Someone's awake! "I heard that this morning, I thought a horse hit someone." He's here to be America's Next Top Model - Aaron Williamson doesn't even need a mic or an amp - WOOO!!! Poor guy was too much to handle - and now that he's stepped out of the room, he's so quiet. Maybe they should let him try again now.
And here is Rebecca Garcia, who is now a star on Fox 41 news! Which is good, because she'll never be the American Idol. Good joke! Most humorous! Hahahaha - uh oh. Not a joke.
Now, to the people who get through today. None of them are really appealing to me. There's a guy with David Cook hair!
I don't feel like covering the closer story today because you can tell by her expressions that she's lying about being homeless. Because all of their photos are in a nice house in nice clothes, having parties. Leneshe Young's story is so FAKE. Fake, fake, fake. To make up for the fact that she's only mediocre. Gnight!
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