It's only the truth...

*sigh*

So yeah. Erik came back over Christmas & New Years, and it was the happiest I've been in so long - I got used to waking up and seeing him, and having him force me to get up and go eat breakfast even though I was still sleepy.

He's been gone for a week, and I already feel like I've been stuck without him for ages - I mean, it sort of feels like I had something I wanted dangled in front of me, then pulled away. It's not a nice feeling. Because the whole time, we talked about what the future was gonna be like, and we made our plans for it sound so definite.

It's just hard to believe in them when we're so far apart and I don't even know when we're even going to see each other again.

I can hardly believe I'm doing this - A year ago, I thought that a long-distance relationship was completely out of the question, and now, I'll give anything to make it work. As much as it can possibly be, things are an open book with Erik & me, and it took so long for us to get to this point, even thought it's still not perfect.

Every night, I go back to the memo pad on my phone and look at the note he wrote me before New Years. Especially this part...

"Even wen u drive me craaazy, ill always be yours not matter where i am nor how far apart we get im still and always will be yours."

He's the reason I try so hard - I don't tell him straight up as often as I should, but I can do what I need to do, just because I have what I want, and that's him.

And I miss him like crazy. It hardly seems fair sometimes.