I don't know where all this frustration is coming from - maybe I'm just bitter because I know I could be doing so much better. Granted, I had a 4.0 last semester - but I still haven't gotten into my science classes, I'm not getting my Associate's Degree after this semester like I SHOULD be. I could be doing so much right now, and I'm not because I was too scared to aim higher.
I just feel like right now, I have so much damage to repair. I spent so much time my first semester in college trying to be normal and pretend I liked what everyone else liked, wanted what everyone else wanted. I wanted to be normal, I really did - but I never have been. People have tried all along to help me realize that I had a different path to follow than most people, and I never listened.
I'm not perfect, I'm not a martyr - I just can't see myself doing what other people my age are doing. I'm just glad I have people now who validate what I feel, who support the person that I am instead of making fun of me for it. What hurts is that not everyone can be quite so understanding.
I sort of wish other people would be more supportive of me being myself. It just feels like crap - people are so quick to accept as normal a 19 year who drinks and parties and slacks off in school, but one like me who's married and doesn't even want to be distracted from school is looked upon as a freak. It just doesn't seem fair.
1 comment:
Oh Vicky, your not a freak! Thats just who you are. Your married, you have your life planned out, and your just not interested in doing those things. Who cares what other people think, okay?
I love you. Don't forget we need a Starbucks date! Whenever we both can, haha.
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